Wednesday, February 11, 2009

"Love what is ahead by loving what has come before"...

That lovely quote is from yogi tea... I have kept it with me in my purse because I find it so reassuring.  I believe I found it again two days ago and it was exactly what I need to see.  It has been hard for the last couple of days.  It is daunting to be so broke and so lonely in a huge city.  I am ready to work, however, my job doesn't start until March 2.  It is hard to look at the next couple of weeks and think, "My goodness, 3 weeks!"  
So when I mentioned to Cyrille my feelings, he understood.  It isn't the fact that I couldn't keep myself busy.  I have tons of unfinished sewing projects I could be doing, along with my wedding dress and my portfolio could use some finishing touches (not to mention the last group I am have trouble completing)...  It is the fact that I haven't had a lot of interaction.  The life from a busy woman, working two jobs, spending lots of time with my peers and my other half has transformed to days filled with no commitments and nowhere to spend my day.  There have been consecutive days where I haven't stepped foot out of the apartment.  My goal here is not to spend money, because on top of not working add no extra money to spend... in fact I'm completely in the hole and don't know how I'm going to pay my rent. 
This no money thing is fine.  I know I will get through it.  It really has made me think twice about my lifestyle and decisions about food.  It shows that I will continue to eat healthy.  It shows that years of eating organic non processed food has gotten to me.  It is really hard for me not to grab the organic or all natural choice, but I'm literally so broke I just stand in the aisle and think about it long and hard.  The images of the caged hens, antibiotic cows, and pesticide filled vegetables really make me sick.  I have decided that I will drink the non organic milk until I start working again... but really it is hard.  I think of it as in an investment to my health and prosparity...  Cheesy, I know, but eh, whatever....  I'm just going to have to find the list of grocery items that I should consider to be "safer" if I'm not going to buy a full basket of organic/all natural.
The days will be filled.  Today, I looked into finding some volunteer work.  If I'm not going to find and internship or a temporary job, I should get to know what I can do to help others.  I really need the interaction and to fill my time with something useful.  I found a lot of museums need lots of volunteers, so I naturally asked for some info and signed up for greeting positions in the field.  One was a sock monkey making evening, which helps an art program.  Another needed help decorating the children's museum for Valentine's Day.  I don't know if I will actually get called back on these, but it was fun and exciting to see what I can go for the next couple of weeks.  I have also given myself a list of things I need to do, because I know once I start working I'm not going to have time to do these things.  I will begin working on my t-shirt quilt tomorrow and will want to start working on a wedding dress within the next week.  I also need to work on my french... Did I tell you I ordered some french books to get me ready for the big move?
I also have started running again.  The exciting aspect of running again is the way i feel in the long run  (haha "long run")... It just makes me feel that I can stay healthy in a different and fun way.  I took pictures, which I added above, of the park that is not even one block away from my apartment.  (the first pic... this is roller blades, not moon shoes...)  If you haven't heard of the "Little Red Lighthouse" it is actually located a mile and a half from my house.  It is on my new running route!  Yesterday, I made my personal best in a mile of 9 minutes.  I know, I know, doesn't seem that fast to some of you, but it is a huge improvement for me.  I will look forward to getting back to my 3 mile runs soon and hope to get to 4 as my personal goal....  My only issue with running is the loss of having a partner.  Laura and I had a great time running together and really pushed each other to get out even in the extreme cold.  I'm really going to miss having her around.
So in conclusion (don't you remember in school your teacher telling you not to do this?) Although I have a long couple of weeks ahead of me.  Lonely days that I will eventually full with all my projects.  I can only look ahead and be grateful for all free time I have and all the friends I will meet once I get to work.  I'm really excited to meet my co-workers and the challenges ahead of me.  I can only love my experiences and the people I will meet, from my past life I had in Columbia and at Clover's....


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